I didn't mean to hurt myself this much...

It's true... IT REALLY HURTS! Why do I have to feel this way??? What should I do to stop feeling this way??? I am becoming unfair to people around me. I AM VERY MUCH AFFECTED! I can no longer focus on what I should do.... I hate this... I HATE MYSELF for feeling this way!!! I don't want to blame myself but I would be more unfair if I will blame other people knowing that they did nothing wrong. . . All I want right now is to be back to my real self. But it's difficult, sooo difficult.:-(